ATTILA ILHAN
(1925-2005)

ILLICIT LOVE

come through my other door you cannot open this
come with your former eyes come at the time to kill
and be vigilant lest someone should follow you
I have been hiding in this house for a long time
I have changed my name they call me something else
day and night I wear sunglasses
come through my other door you cannot open this
come toward daybreak come with all your eyes
I am getting darker and darker behind the shutters
troubles engulf me and so does the Fall
I am unable to recognize your voice on the phone
your face flows and vanishes away through my fingers
something neeting something broken forever
come toward daybreak come with your former eyes
come through my other door you cannot open this
and be vigilant lest someone should follow you

I no longer exist for anyone
they conjured my loves with enormous violins
my fears have been lonesome for eternity
I am a lonely verse is that why I am getting wet
a revolver completes my novel
the play is over they tumed off the lights
come as if you do not exist come at the time to kill
come through my other door you cannot open this
they locked and sealed it from the outside
and be vigilant lest someone should follow you

FLOWER OF MISERY

exhausted they were at the alsancak train station
flower of misery in the night was the clock at the station
nothing existed but themselves
a treacherous trembling seized the man
his hands were tom they were handcuffed
the wife was canying his bag

nobody knew who they were
flower of misery in the night was the clock at the station
they got on a third-class car
it became clear the man would go
they seemed to have given up something
try what he may he couldn't look at his wife

standing they smoked cheap cigarettes
flower of misery in the ni~ht was the clock at the station
they had already fallen in solitude
past and future in darkness
suddenly they turned pale
quietly the cars began moving

Translated by Sedat Cilingir